”How we need another soul to cling to”

Hello all of you lovely people! Happy 2019! Hope your holidays have been great, with lots of laughter, love and of course ALL THE FOOD!

Main reason I’ve been away for a couple of weeks was because of my exams, all of which I’ve passed! BUT I have also moved! FINALLY!! After I was done with my exams, I decided I wanted me some Finland and took the plane there. Being with my love and his family was lovely and Finnish winter is amazing! It was good. All of it. The Christmas celebrations were lovely, but so was the time we spent just hanging out and playing Cards Against Humanity for hours. The 1,5 week I spent up there went by way too fast and before I knew it, my love and I were back at Helsinki Airport saying our goodbyes, or ”see you soons” as we prefer to call them. ”Goodbye” is permanent. ”See you soon” isn’t. On the plane I had been spending all my time just listening to music and reliving all the lovely memories made.

Lately I have been noticing that leaving my significant other or my family is starting to take a toll on me. I cry myself to sleep for days after I’ve gotten back here in Denmark and I spend days just daydreaming about how lovely it would be if I could just be with them and not here. My days just consist of school, eating, yoga, homework, doggo, repeat.  As if I’m running on autopilot, time flies by, without me really being aware of what time or day it is. And then it hit me.. Am I lonely? I mean, I have all these great people here in Denmark, my school is going fine and well, my job is alright too.. So why is it then that I feel alone all the time, despite having a good life here?

I’ve always said that my home is with the people that I love and that still rings true. When I moved to Denmark because of love, my home was here. I had him and his family here and a family back in the Netherlands to which I could ALWAYS return to. But now I have a home in the Netherlands AND a home in Finland, neither of which are close by.

Today, while I was on the bus on my way home, an elderly woman decided to sit next to me, despite there still being seats available for the elderly (they are a lot lower and less risky to fall out of). My initial response was annoyance. She could have chosen ANY seat available there, and she decides to sit next to me. Oh well, just be on your phone Naiyee, headphones loud and ignore the lady. Then I noticed over the tunes of Paramore playing, that she started talking to me. I took my headphones off and asked if she could repeat what she said, and she said something along the lines of how impressive it was that I could type so fast on my phone, that her hands don’t work so well anymore and how her hands don’t like the cold very much. I said that I didn’t even notice how fast I was typing and that the cold really isn’t that nice for anyone, and then the woman got off the bus. Then I realised that she might be feeling the same way I do. Lonely, just wanting meaningful contact with another soul. Immediately after that interaction I felt a sense of guilt. Guilt about getting annoyed at an old lady, just wanting to have some contact, because I can relate to it. A lot.

Then I remembered a conversation I had with my mother years ago. I have always been a socially awkward kid. I prefer to keep to myself in situations with strangers and always looked down when walking. My mom never liked that much. She then said to me:

”Why don’t you look up and see the world and the people around you? Everybody is always so preoccupied with their own stuff, but there are many lonely people out there. Look around you, greet someone or smile at them. It might be meaningless to you, you may have forgotten about it five minutes later, but to them it could make their whole day. Just because you acknowledged their presence.”

That was a life lesson I have never forgotten and honestly, I’ve been terrible at applying it to my own life.

So, I don’t really do new years resolutions, but I figured that I, from today on, am going to be kinder to strangers. The world is already cruel enough as it is and smiling at or greeting another person won’t hurt anyone. In my opinion everyone should try it.

Do you greet or talk to strangers? Why or why not?

– Naiyee

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